Second Year Slump
I’m in the second year of my PhD and assuming everything goes to plan, I’m nearly halfway through my degree program.
I’m going through a phase (or at least what I hope is phase) where I no longer feel motivated to keep working on my project.
I’ve hit a bit of a road block.
The next step in my project requires that I purify one of the products I work with and, for reasons I do not currently understand but I’m certain I will realize at some point, it’s just not working.
Not only is this set of experiments not working, but I’ve been having problems with protocols I’ve done dozens of times before. I feel as though I’m not progressing in my project and I am unsuccessful in completing basic laboratory tasks.
In short, I feel useless.
Welcome to the second year slump.
The excitement of a new program, new experiments, and new ideas has worn off. I’ve become deeply invested in my project, committing time, energy, and other resources to ensuring its completion. I had a stretch of successful experiments, but at the moment, nothing is going according to plan. The end of my PhD seems like a distant place I may never see.
I just want it to be over.
I just want my experiments to work.
I just want to feel like I’m doing something worthwhile again.
There is a strange solace in knowing that many of my peers are also dragging themselves through this phase. I’ve heard everything from “I’m in a bit of a rut” to “I have no desire to get out of bed in the morning”. Our motivation is dwindling, our exhaustion is setting in, and our brain and bodies are balancing on the brink of what may very well be burnout. Meanwhile, the first years around us are just settling into their projects, the third years are preparing to leave the labs or are already writing their theses, and the fourth years are in the process of submission. For the second years, time feels like it’s standing still and moving by too quickly all at once. But at least we’ve got each other.
So I’ll keep trying. I’ll keep going into lab and doing experiments, even when most of them fail. I’ll keep writing up my results, even though they’re all negative at the moment. I’ll keep reading papers and going to seminars and attending conferences. What else can I do? Give up? Offer a half-hearted attempt? Those aren’t options for me. The only option is to keep pushing forward, give it everything I’ve got, and believe that I will get there in the end.
I will get there in the end.
Right?
I’m going through a phase (or at least what I hope is phase) where I no longer feel motivated to keep working on my project.
I’ve hit a bit of a road block.
The next step in my project requires that I purify one of the products I work with and, for reasons I do not currently understand but I’m certain I will realize at some point, it’s just not working.
Not only is this set of experiments not working, but I’ve been having problems with protocols I’ve done dozens of times before. I feel as though I’m not progressing in my project and I am unsuccessful in completing basic laboratory tasks.
In short, I feel useless.
Welcome to the second year slump.
The excitement of a new program, new experiments, and new ideas has worn off. I’ve become deeply invested in my project, committing time, energy, and other resources to ensuring its completion. I had a stretch of successful experiments, but at the moment, nothing is going according to plan. The end of my PhD seems like a distant place I may never see.
I just want it to be over.
I just want my experiments to work.
I just want to feel like I’m doing something worthwhile again.
There is a strange solace in knowing that many of my peers are also dragging themselves through this phase. I’ve heard everything from “I’m in a bit of a rut” to “I have no desire to get out of bed in the morning”. Our motivation is dwindling, our exhaustion is setting in, and our brain and bodies are balancing on the brink of what may very well be burnout. Meanwhile, the first years around us are just settling into their projects, the third years are preparing to leave the labs or are already writing their theses, and the fourth years are in the process of submission. For the second years, time feels like it’s standing still and moving by too quickly all at once. But at least we’ve got each other.
So I’ll keep trying. I’ll keep going into lab and doing experiments, even when most of them fail. I’ll keep writing up my results, even though they’re all negative at the moment. I’ll keep reading papers and going to seminars and attending conferences. What else can I do? Give up? Offer a half-hearted attempt? Those aren’t options for me. The only option is to keep pushing forward, give it everything I’ve got, and believe that I will get there in the end.
I will get there in the end.
Right?
