We regret to inform you…
I’ve gotten a lot of emails and letters that stared with those words:
“We regret to inform you that you have not been accepted to this school.”
“We regret to inform you that your scholarship application was unsuccessful.”
“We regret to inform you that we have chosen another candidate.”
That latest one that I’ve received: “We regret to inform you that you have not been cast in this term’s musical theater production.”
I auditioned for a show on a whim. I just want to go through that process again and maybe connect to the theater community. The friends that I’ve made through theater are some of my nearest and dearest. Nowadays, most of my interactions are with other engineers and scientists – I miss theater people!
I’m really glad I auditioned. It was great to spend half an hour chatting with other auditionees and preparing to read my sides. It was great learning choreography and (poorly) executing it. It was great to just be there. In the short time I was at the auditions, I saw some truly incredible talent. I’m not surprised that I wasn’t cast. Still, it’s never fun seeing an email begin with the words “We regret to inform you…”
When I first started getting rejection letters, they felt like personal attacks. You’re not good enough. Your time and effort are worthless. You don’t deserve to be successful. We don’t want you.
Now, I’ve been on the other side of the table and I know how difficult these decisions can be. It’s not personal. There are a limited number of spaces to fill. The people who put the most heart and soul into their work are often the ones who make it the furthest. If we could take them all, we would!
I recognize rejection is a part of the learning experience. Each rejected application or unsuccessful interview is practice in the process of applying or the process of interviewing. I’m a stronger candidate for future applications and interviews because I’ve been through a few before.
Even when these experiences end in rejection, there’s still usually a small reward that accompanies them. In my most recent experience, I got to hang out with some cool theater people for a few hours. In the past, I’ve had the opportunity to visit schools or companies, I’ve talked to researchers working on new technologies, and I’ve received “consolation prizes” – usually a postcard or a sticker, but I once got a stuffed bacterium.
So I’ll keep applying and auditioning and interviewing. The most important thing is to put my best effort in. Sometimes, I’ll be accepted. Sometimes, I’ll be rejected. Either way, I’ll have gained something valuable.
